What has being a mother done to me?!

Well, for starters, it's made me an emotional basket case.  I could go on and on with stories of times that I've cried since I have become a mother - times that I've been so overwhelmed with love for my babies that the only thing I could do was cry, times that I've been so proud of their accomplishments that I cried, times that I've laughed at things they've done or said... and I cried, times that they've made me want to pull my hair out and shoot lasers out of my eyes but instead I cried.

The other day I was talking to a fellow mom that has a daughter going to kindergarten just like Lincoln will next year.  She asked me if I was scared.  At first I said no but asked her what she meant.  She mainly wondered if I was worried about the outside influence of other kids and basically just sending him out on his own.  Since he's been in preschool for the last couple of years, I've already felt like he's had outside influence.  He picks some stuff up at school that I love and others that I don't.  I know it's the reality of raising kids and the independence that comes along with them growing. 

The more that I thought about her question, the more I realized that the one thing that worries me is that he will be bullied.  As I've watched him and his preschool friends, day after day, come running out from school, I realize that, other than one other boy (out of 7), Lincoln is about a head shorter than the rest of the boys.  It's really no surprise that he's short.  I mean, come on.  Remember the whole chihuahua comparison?  I guess what worries me is that we are noticing that he's sensitive like I am.  Derek has always been short but he's also the type of person that can let stuff roll off his shoulders.  From what I've heard, he could handle himself and didn't get teased too much for being short.  Kids can be so mean, though, and if they know they can tease, they will.  I guess that's why I worry with Lincoln.  I love so much that he's a sensitive kid but I also don't want him to be too sensitive.  I don't want the other kids to know they can treat him poorly and that he will let them.  I want him to not let kids push him around but am I supposed to tell him to beat the crap out of them if they do?  Cause part of me wants to.

Today Dumbo came on.  I took the opportunity to talk to him about how everyone is different and we don't make fun of people for being different.  It's okay to be different.  At different parts of the movie I would point out things - "See how those elephants are being mean to him because he has big ears?  That's not very nice, is it?"  Those female elephants are such brats.  The scene came when Dumbo's mom defended him when he was being teased.  I was so proud of her.  I would have wanted to do the same thing.  Any mother would.  Then later came the scene when Dumbo goes to visit his mom when she's locked up.  They hugged with their trunks and big crocodile tears came flowing from Dumbo's eyes.  She picked him up with her trunk and rocked him.  I lost it.  Lincoln asked where Dumbo's mom was and what was happening.  I couldn't even talk.  I was embaressed to be crying.  What a basket case I am! 

Oh yeah, and right after Lincoln was born we were watching Finding Nemo.  I cried when Nemo's dad lost him.  How scary that must have been for Marlin!  It was just too much to handle!

Is it just me that this happens to?!  Please tell me I'm not the only one boo-hooing at Disney movies.  Having kids just does that to me.  I just love them so darn much.  It's a big ol' scary world out there.  It's sad to think that they have to go out into it.  It's also so exciting to see them go.  How weird is that?

I guess I'll just be that mom - the one that is patting them on the bum, pushing them off toward kindergarten saying, "Go get 'em!".... and then I'll turn around and bawl my eyes out.