Tis the season...

...to post back to school pictures with big smiles, new clothes and shoes, and fancy back packs. I can't help but feel a little sad that Lincoln isn't in one of those pictures yet, especially since he was so excited to get his new back pack (that is practically the same size as he is!) Right after he got it, he wanted to wear it everywhere and put anything and everything in it. It melted my heart.

He had to fold his arms to keep the straps on his shoulders.

He was sooo ready!

I suppose he will just have to wait a bit longer now. Luckily he's still so young that he doesn't even know he's missing out on anything.

The reason he will have to wait a bit longer is because we have decided to move back to Utah. It definitely wasn't an easy decision to make and honestly I don't think we'd really even talked much about doing it before the opportunity presented itself. There were a series of events that led to a mighty fine offer from the company Derek had worked for in Utah. It really was an offer too good to refuse.

We've gone back and forth about moving (and even gone back and forth literally *end of joke drum*) and I think we are both pretty bummed about it, especially since it feels like we just got here. Well, we kind of did. But, even though it's only been a short time, a lot has happened and I have realized a few things.

I love the weather here in California. Who doesn't?! That's why there's a billion zillion people here. But what good is having beautiful weather if Derek isn't around to enjoy it with us? I will deal with freezing winters if it means that Derek is around to see the kids off on their first day of school, take a few friday afternoons off every once in a while, be home for dinner time, and be a happier person all around. That makes me a happier (and more sane) person too. Everyone's happier.

This past weekend we made a quick trip to do some house hunting. We were so lucky to find one, make an offer, and have it accepted. More on that to come!

On the plane ride home, I stared out the window as we flew into southern California. I felt sadness come over me. Sad that we were leaving. Sad that it didn't work out differently. Sad that I am unsure whether we've given this enough of a try and for long enough.

Then Monday came and Derek was off to work long before the kids even woke up and didn't come home until 8:00 and the kids were getting ready to go to bed. Then this morning when Lincoln came into my room at 6:30, the first thing he asked was, "Where's my daddy?"

Those are the times that I am happy about the decision. I am happy that he will be around more for the kids. I am happy that he will be around more for me. I am happy that he will have more time to do the things that make him happy.

Like I said before, what good is all the stuff like great weather, beach, etc. if he's not around to share it with us?

We are lucky to have family in both places that love and care for us and I know we have made people sad with the decisions that we have made moving here and moving there, but it really has come down to what is best for us. It's selfish, but true.

So, I have decided that my happy husband (and my sanity...did I mention that already?) is worth living in the artic for. I will be wearing 18 layers of clothing, but I will have him to snuggle up to - by our new fireplace!