Dear Chick-Fil-A employee and raving lunatic customer/fellow parent or grandparent or whatever you are,

Employee: I appreciate your establishment and the convenience it provides to me and my children. Your restaurant is clean and I am always greeted with happy smiling people that open the doors for me, bring our food to our table, and even refill my beloved diet coke. Seriously, so awesome! However, I'd really appreciate it if you would let me worry about my children. The reason she was carrying a straw was because her big brother was carrying a straw for himself and also one for me. Anyone who has children knows that if one has something, no matter what in the world it is, the other will want one as well. So, to save myself, and everyone in the restaurant for that matter, the experience of a full on melt down by the loudest screamer EVER, I chose to let her have a straw. This straw can mean the world if it keeps her entertained while I attempt to order our food, corral two children, pay for food, and corral children some more. I sincerely appreciate your concern and attempt to help, because I usually don't know what I'm doing, but really... please just let my child have a straw to hold on to. It isn't a knife for crying out loud. Luckily, she was in a good mood and I think a little surprised that a stranger was talking to her and decided not to melt down when you took it from her. But again, thank you so much for all of that other great stuff you do while we visit!

Now, fellow patron of chick-fil-a: I understand that you want to sit in the play area and regulate any posted suggestion for play rules, however, back up off my kids! I don't get to go out often, and I'll just be honest, I really like fast food. So, when I get the opportunity to go out to a place where the kids can have fun and I can sit close by, watch them, and eat my meal in peace (and drink those fabulous refills), it's a little slice of heaven! You stress me out a little when I see you telling my children to take their shoes off and even touching them. You stress me out more when I go in to help my little crying girl who has just come down the slide with loads of kids behind her and you say, "It's because she's wearing shoes!" No. It's actually because she is 2 and weighs about 23 pounds and has three larger children coming down the slide on top of her... which I expect because it's a playplace with other children and things like that are bound to happen. If you don't want your child to experience anything like that, then maybe you shouldn't bring them to a public playplace. Oh, and when you start lumbering around the restaurant and complaining and everyone is giving you a funny look, it's because you are the crazy one. There's a reason that the rest of us weren't having any problems. I sincerely hope you aren't there on our future visits so that my children can play freely and I can enjoy my meal.