I decided to go with a photo that made me sad. Sad in a good way, though. More like bittersweet.Three years ago we welcomed our little baby boy into this world. I think I've mentioned before what a perfect day that was. Aside from the umbilical cord being wrapped around poor Lincoln's arm for a while. Other than that quick scare, everything about the labor, delivery, and first day of his life was amazing. I remember everything so fondly and am so happy to have had such an amazing experience. Around this time three years ago, I was in the bathtub and reflecting on the day. The baby that had been inside my body for nine months was now sleeping in the next room with my exhausted, and also sleeping, husband. He had fallen asleep with the television turned up rather loud and I remember laying there thinking that the people in the next room could probably hear it but I couldn't do much about it from where I sat, so I just laid and listened to it. The opening chimes from Seinfeld will forever remind me of the first night that I was a mom. It reminds me of all of the feelings that rushed over me as the reality of what had happened was sinking in. It was no longer just Derek and I anymore. It was so awesome - every part of that day was.
A few weeks ago, I held the newborn baby of a new friend of mine. I was surprised at my overwhelming feelings of sadness. Sadness because I can only remember holding one of my children as a newborn and really feeling so much peace and happiness. This may sound horrible to say, but I feel like I don't remember much from when Amelia was a baby. Maybe it was because I also had a 15 month old to take care of. Maybe it was because she cried a lot. Maybe I've blocked a lot of that out. Who knows? Maybe my sadness came from knowing that I would never again hold my sleeping newborn baby and feel the same way that I did as a first time mom. I constantly remind myself that even though she was super fussy, at least we have her. I know there are many people that aren't able to have children or try for a very long time. I can't even imagine what that must be like. But, even though I remind myself of that all the time, I can't help but feeling a little sad that my one amazing time is over. It flew by so fast. I miss it terribly, but I'm so glad that I remember so much from it.
And, even though it's sad that he's growing, it was a blast to see him excited for his third birthday today. It was hilarious to watch and listen to him sing "Happy birthday" to himself. I loved seeing him tear off the wrapping paper with so much anticipation and excitement and say "Oh cute!" to everything that we got. He's around girls all day, what can I say?!
Happy 3rd birthday to my favorite little dude!
P.S. Am I making you sick with my nostalgia yet? If so, grab a bag. I would bet I'm not done yet.
2 comments:
That was such a sweet post!
I understand about not remembering Amelia as a baby. I don't remember alot of Lily and I think I blocked it. I don't remember much of a Jack and I think it is because I now had a newborn and a 16 month old. And for the twins, I really tried to remember the little moments, knowing how much I had lost with the first two, but with a 17 month old and an almost 3 year old, I don't think it was possible. I hate that my memories are so clouded and so few of such a priceless time in life.
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