About to "go postal" at the DMV

I'm sure you can guess by the title of this post that I haven't been pleased with the DMV here in California. Since moving from Utah to California, we have pretty much taken care of all of the switching over that needed to be done. The cars are now registered here, I have an appointment with a new pediatrician, and utilities and insurance have been switched. Everything has been taken care of EXCEPT for me getting a California driver's license.

Attempt 1: Derek called to make an appt. for himself before he started at his new job. There wasn't one available before he started so he made one for me instead and figured he'd just go stand in the notoriously long no-appoinment line. (He actually ended up going to the local DMV right when they opened and got it done fairly quickly.) Anyway, he made the appt. for me but the soonest one was at a DMV that was a little far away and in an unfamiliar area... a little scary for wimpy me, but I figured that it needed to get done.
I arranged for my sisters to babysit and headed out into new territories. Since I had an appt., I was able to by-pass the line outside, but still ended up getting a number and sitting/waiting with everyone else. When my number was called I nervously went to the lady and told her why I was there. I handed her my S.S. card, Utah driver's license, and my birth certificate. She immediately asked if my last name was different from the name that was on my birth certificate. "Yes," I replied. "Well do you have your marriage license then?" she asked. "No, am I supposed to?".... yadda, yadda, yadda. I'm sure you can imagine how the rest of the conversation went.
The kicker was that when Derek made the appt., the guy he talked to did not say that I needed my marriage license. We assume it was because Derek was originally making the appt. for himself. It only seems logical, though, that if he made the appt. for a "Krystal," she would probably need something like a marriage license. Maybe I should have realized that, but I didn't. I took what they told me I would need, but, it wasn't all that I needed.
So, I left the DMV frustrated with the whole situation, but armed with a piece of paper for an appt. at the DMV that is closer to where my mom lives. I figured it might be better to take the kids to my sisters rather than make them come to me... again.

Attempt 2: The big test day finally arrived and, after having studied the little book a couple of times, I figured I would finally get my new license. My appt. was at 4:20. Once again, there was an insane line outside but I was able to by-pass it. I went to the first appointment window by 4:10 and was given a number. I ended up in a long line of other people with appointments. By 5:00 I was relieved that it was my turn at the window. I approached the lady and she just looked at me waiting for me to talk. There was no "Hello" or "How can I help you?" Nothing. So I told her why I was there and she took all of my paperwork. Then she said, "Well, you won't be able to take the test today. We can take your picture and then you can come back with the papers we give you and then you can take it." She pointed to the door I would enter and said, "You'll need to come before 4:30."
I seriously felt like fire was going to shoot out of my eyes.
I know it's not her fault.
But I was angry.
I had to come back before 4:30? I was there before 4:30... and with an appointment!!! Why are they making appointments for people when they obviously won't be able to do what they need to do before the place closes?!
So, I took my papers back, stood in another line to get my picture taken (by yet another friendly employee *insert sarcasm*), and was on my way out the door... without a new license... for the second time.

Maybe third time really is a charm. We'll see.

By the way, I now understand why nobody ever likes their driver's license photo. I'm surprised my eyes weren't a deep red color and my hair wasn't standing on end by the time it was my turn to take a picture.